Out of Control Friend
Dear Vanessa and Angela,
I want to first say that I love your Pastry shoes collection, your Pastry clothes and your Pastry bags. They are mad hot! Now this is the problem I need your help on. My best friend “Lana” has just gotten way out of control. “Lana” just got her braces taken off and now wears contacts. She is chasing boys like crazy. They chase her too. She was supposed to spend the night at my house last weekend. As soon as she got to my house she ran out with her bag saying she was staying at this guy “Jeff’s” house because his parents went away for the weekend. She never even stayed at my house! By the way we are both in the 10th grade. She asked me to lie for her if her mother was asking about her being at my house. I went along with it this time but I hate lying for her and I hate that she always disses me for all these guys. She is even getting a bad rep at school for hooking up with so many guys. What do you think I should do?
Our advice: You need to have a real conversation with your friend. Explain to her how awkward you feel lying for her and that it is not cool. Let her know that you don’t want to be caught in the middle of her actions that we are sure her mother disapproves of and her mother’s expectations. She should also know that she is too young to be spending the night solo at some guy’s house. That can become a dangerous situation. Let her know this. Also let her know that she is developing a bad rep at school. Just tell her to slow down a bit. Don’t be too confrontational when you tell her all this. Do not sound too judgemental. Just express these things with concern. Let her know as a friend you are there for her.
What would you suggest to her? Is her friend really out of control? Please let us know what you think.
If you are going through something and need our advice, please contact us at advice@pastrykicks.com.
Wow!!!!! I admit i do like dudes but i wouldnt be spendin the nite at dere house. Dats jus not me. Angela Vanessa are rite u should confront her but dont sound so judgemental cause u dont want to loose a friend>
February 4th, 2009 at 8:00 pmI think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel, if she is your real friend she will trust you and if she keeps doing what she is doing, people will start saying rumors and it might get ugly, because im in 11th grade and when rumors get spread it is bad!
February 4th, 2009 at 8:03 pmI think you should talk to your friend about her problems and let her know you feel about lying for her and covering for her. Also let her know that you are her friend and that you care for her and is willing to help her get over her problems with boys.
February 4th, 2009 at 9:46 pmNot trying to say anything but worry about yourself your friend thinks that is the new her if she doesn’t want to be taught the easy way she is going to have to learn the hard way and i dont feel right lying to my best friends either but my best friend we stay together if its my buisness its hers and try to talk to her if she doesnt move on things will immprove pray for her GOD IS LOVE!
February 4th, 2009 at 10:10 pmHer reputation is not gonna be good at all she gonna be a gardening tool(figure dat out) but antyways dont lie for her dat ain’t right her momma need to know wat she doin u wuldnt want her to rat u out but like really sombdy need to tell her bout herself
February 5th, 2009 at 8:09 amI think that when we get a certain age some of us ladies rebel and I don’t know why. But I do feel you need to talk to her and let her know your feelings towards this situation, I mean she didn’t even ask your permission for you to lie for her she just kind of forced it on you. If she don’t slow up a bit it will not be good for her in the end…trust me, I know. I did the same thing she is doing but with only one guy, and guess what, I ended up pregnant with twins at 16. But you never know, she could have found some confidence and self-esteem and she feel that her actions are a way of showing her new attitude. As a friend to her, I think you should talk to her and see if you guys can come up with a resolution. GOOD LUCK!
February 5th, 2009 at 10:51 amyeh of course her reputation is not gonna be good… she stays the night over guys house… yeh u definently should have a conversation with her.. dont sound too judgemental… but yeh once u have a bad reputation at school… it may be too late to turn around… she should switch schools and start over… im jus sayin this from experience
February 5th, 2009 at 11:38 amshould i have a conversation with a friend who trying 2 be like some body what should I do.
February 6th, 2009 at 9:54 amshe became your friend for a reason Im guessing you both use to spend alot of time together and had fun but now things have change. Tenth grade is a time of transition for many some people loose thier heads in Highschool and forget the importance of being yourself and holding on to those who cared about you most. Just be real with her explain to her how you feel about her changes dont be harsh but be calm you dont want to hurt her feelings or push her away.. people make mistakes dont take it personally when she doesnt hang out with you maybe she thinks that its not that big of a deal to blow off one nite with you because you’ve had good times before.. Maybe she’ll change maybe she wont but all you can do is try and show her your perspective.. people will make thier on descitions.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:42 pmi say u need to really sit ya friend down an have a talk becuz apparently nothing is gettin through to her at dis point.I think dats its really nice that u are tryin to help her cuz there arent dat many true friends out there like dat.But jus keep ya head up an dnt give up on her.Jus keep tryin to get through to her
February 6th, 2009 at 2:02 pmi thnk that she is goin way to far!!!! u should really tlk to her and tell her how she’s really ruining her reputation at skool and she is goin to end up in a sticky situation if she spend the nite at different guys house because anything can happen to her cuz sum boyz dont wanna just chill dey juss want to get sum (u kno wat i mean)….n she need to kno the number 1 teenage girl rule DONT CHASE AFTA BOYZ LET THEM CUM AFTA U….CUZ U LOOK 2 THIRSTY AND THATS NOT A GOOD IMAGE…
February 6th, 2009 at 6:45 pmPlease talk to your friend. She needs to know there is plenty of time for boys. Getting in deep like that is not good for her. She needs to be focusing on school and thinking about a career! Life is short and you do only live once, but in reality, these boys only want one thing! When you get a little older, most of them are still out for that one thing, and as soon as she gives it up, she’s not going to seem all that interesting to them anymore! I understand she’s feeling herself because she turned into a swan, but pretty is also in your actions, not just your looks!
February 8th, 2009 at 2:48 amYea..
I have that problem 2..
i wanted to post a story but i dont know how..
See My Friend just started talking to my EX..
&& from what i have heard she has been saying nasty stuff to him on the phone && she just met him..
&& yea i do have a problem with that because i still have deep feelings for him && even though he broke up with me we still have deep feeling for each other..
&& Now She is calling him “BOO” && all that so I.D.K what to do..
It makes No cense that she has to call him her boo cause she doesnt even know him like i do..
So some 1 please TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO…!!!
xoxo,
February 10th, 2009 at 3:16 pm-Mz.Cupcake-
This message is for (Mz.Cupcake)!I know u consider ur friend as a true friend but 4rm wat u hve sed i dnt tink u shud even consider her ur friend!If she’s ur friend and the both of u hve a tyt friendship,den y is she tlkin 2 ur ex and callin him boo?DATS DISRESPETFUL,u just dont do dat!And for ur ex,he needs to tlk 2 u about dis because i’m sure he knows dat him conversating with her lyk dat and her callin him “BOO” is reali bad!And dat shud show u dat he also doesnt respect and may not hve da same feelins 4 u dat u hve 4 him!I knw if dats ur friend u must hve tld her at some stage dat u still hve feelins 4 ur ex nd 4 her 2 jus sit dwn and tlk nasty 2 him on da fone to u i tink u need to tell her how u feel!but i hope all goes well wid u and dat situation!London Girl!x
February 12th, 2009 at 6:14 pmi think you sould tell your friend how u feel. tell her she is young to be dating all those boys like that..yea its good that she has confidence but i dnt think she wants to get out of HS knowing she had a bad REP
May 7th, 2009 at 8:27 amand if she doesn’t like what you say then mayb yall shouldn’t be friends
been trying to get a return label for unworn product that are too small.Three weeks I have been trying to accomplish this, can;t get thru by phone or by internet.
November 12th, 2009 at 9:02 pm