High School Highlights, Play By Play
Dear Angela and Vanessa,
I’m real new with the asking advice part never paid attention to take it in, but now I need it. Ok, well their this guy nicknamed “Styles” and I’ve known him since my freshman year of high school, we’re a seniors now. “Styles” and I have been great friends, talk about liking each other ON and OFF since freshman year. Sorry the story is kinda long.
Freshman Year: He’s new cute kid in my english class , and my teacher chose me too catch him up, and we just happened to be start reading Romeo & Juliet. A couple of weeks later I start liking him. Then 3 weeks after he transfers schools. I was thinking he was long gone , I fall out of it.
Sophmore Year: The years going great, loving sophmore year had no crushes, it’s all fine. but on February 13,’07 I had the horoscopes in my reading mine, and randomly scary it said “good furtune comes your way as a lost admirer appears from abyss. After I read the horoscope I laugh and put the paper down and their he was walking passed me. I couldn’t really tell for sure if it was him. He ends up having the same english teacher just a period after mine. At first, I just thought ok he’s back, no big deal. Next thing you know he says, “Hey wussup? How’s it been?” out of nowhere. All the feelings I had for him came back. I got scared. Words didn’t come out right. A couple of days later, I found him on myspace and we started talking there. I felt more confortable because it was on the computer not the phone or in person. I decided to send him a message about how I felt so I sent him something saying if you wanna date me leave your number. If you hate me tell me upfront. If you love me, tell me you love me and if you think we are better off as friends just tell me and I’ll be satisfied. Next day I received a message that read “I wanna date you my # is 240-***-***.” and he said “I kinda sorta love you.” I get happy and call his number. We talk for hours everyday, like 24hrs. conversations. Sometimes about nothing.
Junior Year: We were just hanging out. More talking and I’m just waiting and still waiting. Then he starts asking me when are we going to become more intimate. I told him I’m not thinking about that because I’m too young and so are you. Then he talks about his past girls and I said I never heard that. He said he usually doesn’t point that out. Well, 2 days after, he goes out with the school (BUS) free rides at times. But then toward the end of the year they broke up and he called me. He asked me the same question but I gave him a different answer saying I would consider it.
Senior Year: Woo Hoo! I’m a senior and so happy! I find out in the beginning of the year he transfered over the summer to a different school. We talked but nothing I wanted to talk about. Days later he would call and ask when we could become intimate. I tried not to answer. I would say I have homework and projects or if he called really late, I would say I’m real sleepy and I’ll call you later.
Question is: how should I tell him I like him without losing any of my values?
Sincerly,
“Kira”
Our advice: You are so right to think you are too young to consider his offer. At this time, you should focus on your education and your future. What he is offering may complicate things for you. The two of you should talk about the issue. You should be firm and let him know that you don’t want to compromise your values. No matter how much you like a guy, you should not be forced to compromise your morals. Stand strong in your beliefs! If he really likes you, he will understand your point of view and respect your decision. No matter how cute he is or how much you like him, do not let him pressure you!
Ladies, what do you think of this situation? What should she do? Have you been in this sitiation? What did you do? Here is your chance to give your advice!
Remember, if you have a problem and seek our advice, please contact us through advice@pastrykicks.com.
U ARE TOO YOUNG TO ME INTIMATE, BESIDES U HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU TO BE INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE PLUS WHEN U DO DECIDE, AND REMEMBER THE DECISION IS YOURS, IT SHOULD BE WITH SOMEONE WHO U KNOW YOU WILL BE WITH FOREVER (LIKE YOUR HUSBAND). YOU ARE WORTH MORE AND YOU SHOULD CHERISH YOUR BODY. IF A GUY ALWAYS ASK YOU TO BE INTIMATE WITH HIM, HE IS NOT THINKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, HE ONLY WANTS WHAT HE WANTS AND THAT’S IT. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE IN A SITUATION, LET’S JUST SAY YOU DO BE INTIMATE WITH HIM, WHO’S TO SAY HE WILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU AFTER THAT? IF YOUR GUT FEELING TELL YOU YOU SHOULD WAIT, THAN THAT’S WHAT YOU DO AND IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. DON’T FEEL BAD CUZ YOU DIDN’T BE INTIMATE WITH HIM, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH AND SAY YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GIVE IN. DON’T DO ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 16 I WAS WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEING IN LOVE AND I WANTED TO WAIT TILL MARRIAGE BUT I LET HIM TALK ME INTO IT AND EVERYTIME WE GOT TOGETHER HE WAS HOUNDING ME SO I GAVE IN….ABOUT 1 OR 2 MONTHS LATER I WAS PREGNANT WITH TWINS AND HE IS NOT THERE OF COURSE. THEY ARE 10 NOW AND I WOULDN’T TRADE THEM FOR THE WORLD BUT U DON’T WANT THAT AND I DON’T WANT THAT FOR YOU EITHER! SO STAY STRONG AND I KNOW YOU’LL DO THE RIGHT THING JUST KEEP ASKING GOD FOR STRENGTH AND YOU’LL BE FINE. GOOD LUCK!
February 20th, 2009 at 10:20 amI think she should stick to how she feels beczuase it seems to me thats all dat is on his mind.A u dnt need to b gettin caught up in no boy mess because once dey get wat they want they dnt want to deal wit u any more,im not sayin every dude is like dat but most of them are.Jus keep ya head up an if he dnt like u for u den jus let it go dnt stress ova sumthing thats not there.But only time will tell but jus dnt give in to anything he says to u because u mite regret it in da end.
February 20th, 2009 at 1:28 pmlong story..lol… naww but yeh girl he’s not worth giving up yo values and morals… u need to figure out his values and morals.. cause it seems like yall on two different pages
February 20th, 2009 at 3:05 pmWell, if you want him forever, accept his offer about 7 days after your last menstruation and don’t use protection.
February 25th, 2009 at 1:47 pmOMG!!
SHE SHOULD TALK TOO HIM N LET HIM KNOW THAT SHES OT GUNNA DO THAT..
March 5th, 2009 at 1:05 pmi think u shouldnt talk to him period b/c as i read i think all he want u got is to get intimate..and you sound smart and bright to be settling with somebody like that.
May 7th, 2009 at 8:19 ambut then again i dnt knw him..but what i thnk u shud do is really jt consider to be friends b/c after all this years if yall to become one it might not work b/c yall use to being friends