Hey there Vanessa and Angela Simmons!

I have a friendship problem. Recently I just backed out from a friendship with “Dina” because she keeps pestering me to do things she prefers like when we’re all gonna go have a picnic, she would insist that I wear a certain dress of her choice. Annoying right? So I have been avoiding her but only because I needed time to cool down from being all frustrated and sad towards her behaviour and the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth.

So quite recently she got into a major fight with her best friend and her best friend actually blabbed to me about stuffs which happened. Another friend and I discussed it over and this friend actually went to tell her friend who is close to “Dina”, “Now the whole world knows what a pain “Dina” is.” When truth is, I would never call anyone rude names. And “Dina” actually believed her. Okay that’s besides the point.

“Dina” then asked me why I was avoiding her and didn’t wanna go home together and all. So I told her that I’ve emotional problems and I chose not to hang out with anyone because I needed my own time and that I was easily ticked off, not wanting to ruin the happy mood by being sulky. I thought she would understand, but what she said next was beyond my expectation and made me cry – “HAHA NONSENSE!”

How rude, right? I like being her friend because she’s really fun to hangout with, but she’s got attitude. What do I do?

Thanks!

Our advice: It seems like “Dina” has a hard time getting things through her head. She does not seem to listen. You and she should have a one on one talk. Forget talking to shared friends about your shared experiences with her- this leads to a lot of he said she said that you don’t need. Sit down with her and calmly (but sternly) tell her about how her actions make you feel. Inform her of how controlling she is and how she ignores what you have to say. Cite examples. Sternly tell her that you enjoy having her as a friend but her negative actions must stop if you two are to remain friends and hang out. Make suggestions to her on how she can avoid such negative behavior. Give her time to think about what you have said. Remember, controlling people can’t be true friends.

What do you think of our advice? What would you suggest?

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